How To Die


Are you wondering how to die? I’m going to share with you a personal story, then solve the problem that millions of people are trying to figure out!

In the beginning… I was a child as I was being feed milk in a figurative perspective, that I didn’t know what this life was for. I took everything for granted especially when life got hard. At a young age, I was like so many others who were raised in a broken home then bombarded by peer pressure. I’m sure you can see where all this is going but I’ll skip the sappy stuff and just get to the point. I was a down south Georgia rebel, doing what I want, living on my own rules. I began smoking weed when I was around 15 then that opened up a whole new world to me. I began going to parties and enjoying getting high to drown out all the worries of life (I know how can a 14 yr/ old have worries).

When I turned 17, I had it all figured out. Haha! I was able to party and make money at the same time and not have to work anymore. Truly this was the life or so I thought, but in reality, I was just washing away my personality, and trying to mellow out the pain. It really was only a placebo effect covering up the problem, not ever fixing the real void that I felt deep inside though. It couldn’t be fixed with drugs, sex or anything else that this world had to offer. Don’t judge me as I’m not trying to go off in a long spiel of how awful I was but when I make my point you’ll see why I’ve explained all of this, and thankfully I never got any diseases or kids as I don’t know what would of come of me.

Suicidal Thoughts

Well, somewhere around 17 I had given up on trying to graduate and got myself kicked out of my step dad’s house because I had broken their last straw, I had been caught again. Haha! Because I had really broken things up between my family. I didn’t even try to call my dad and I took a backpack full of some cloths and other stuff and then walked down town Marietta to where some of my buddies would hang out, became better friends with one of my school mates at a Star Bucks over there and offered him a job to drive me around and help me sell drugs. So he took the offer and even gave me a place to stay then I partied even harder then before. I had no reasons to sneak out or hide anything. There were no rules and I had everything I needed so I thought. I was selling quarter pounds of weed and some other stuff here and there making more money than the average worker. I had no reason to quit, but life changed in an instant…

I want to dieI was drunk on the Marta after getting out of a concert at willow five points and so was my room mate. He wasn’t as bad off as me and was able to drive but he had a new 300z and hit it hard around a corner and over steered causing us to hit a fence and getting stuck on a 4×4 post. We were unable to get this car over the 4×4 post so we could get home, and well, got caught trying to hide from the cops. He went to jail and I blew in the breathalyzer and was completely drunk but being a mile away from my house, they took me home. In the state of Georgia we have a zero tolerance law and I should have gone to jail. Also I was on probation and should have gone to jail and stayed there but they didn’t realize that.

The next morning I was kicked out from his family and went back to square one trying to find a place to live once again. But being at that age I could never get a job cause I was taken out of school (not my will) and I was emancipated so I was considered a legal adult. Though I couldn’t get a permanent work and the emancipation letter did me no good to get hired. I also wasn’t able to get a hold of any drugs even when I had been able to make hundreds in one night, I was completely broke and felt deserted. I spent a night at one of the local parties then the following day attempted to sleep in the back of the woods behind a Save Rite. This time was different though, I had come to the end of my rope. I didn’t want to continue this life, it had the fire exhausted for living. I just wanted life to end but at that moment, I thought about the end of life and if there was an end or just another beginning of an afterlife. I was raised in a Christian home but I didn’t see God in my home. If anything happens to my family, I feel apart and I blamed God for it.

I Want To Die

At that moment, stranded in the woods, I began to realize that there was no point to go on if there wasn’t a God. This world was too cruel and there is no hope. I began to pray on my hands and knees asking God, asking Jesus to send me a place to live, food to eat, and a job. If memory doesn’t serves me correctly I even made a promise to serve Him, if He would provide for me and give me new life. As any man who comes to the end of their rope it leaves them broken, I prayed for about 5 minutes of a powerful prayer in tears and asking for Jesus to change me, change my life and give me new hope and a new home. Then the moment I said “Amen” somebody yelled MY NAME! I completely lost my composure! I thought the devil was out to get me! I grabbed my backpack and peaked outside the woods looking to see if it was Reco (the man who wanted to kill me). But to my surprise it wasn’t the devil, and it wasn’t Reco!

How to Die to Myself

Turn to me and be saved, all you ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other. – Isaiah 45:22

How to dieA friend of mine came to the rescue or should I say God sent him to rescue me *wink*. I was invited to stay at his house for a week and the whole time I was there I was being asked by his mom to call up my folks. Though I had told her my mom and step dad kicked me out and my dad is getting remarried and his future wife wants nothing to do with me. Not only were they pounding me to call my parents, but I still wasn’t able to get any drugs! I thought about how to die just the day before, now I’m so confused! It may not sound profound to you as you might have not been in my shoes, but I knew everybody and I could get whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. There was nothing but one joint that we were able to get. I didn’t even feel the need to smoke it as it probably wouldn’t even have got me high. There was also this strange feeling inside me from the event that took place a couple days prior. I hadn’t told them but left it inside trying to figure this all out.

My Suicidal Thoughts Lead To Peace

Then I was asked again to call my folks, this time it rang in my head. I was curious what had come of my dad as I hadn’t even talked to him in over 6 months. So when I got a moment of piece, I ended up calling my dad, just so she’d leave me a lone. Inside I desired to move back in with my dad as we did, used to have a good relationship till I screwed things up. I called him and asked if I could move back in and told him I wanted to change. He said call me back in three days and so I did. That phone call was quick, he asked me where I was at the moment and came to pick me up after I agreed to not bring any drugs into his house. I had told them that no one knew where or how to contact me, for all they know is that I was shot and left in some ditch or had spit town looking for a new adventure as I was well known for pulling disappearing acts.

The very next day in the morning my dad took me to a place to get a job and the first place I had applied for. I got a job! Within 7 days, I had all of my prayers answered! Thing about it though is that it didn’t hit me like it does now, after I’ve had a moment to sit back and contemplate all the pieces of the puzzle and see how perfectly they fit.

The very next day I went to work and realized one of my good Christian friends that I was in the worship band in with working with me! Again when I say good friends, I pretty much mean best friends but us guys don’t talk like that. We had spent many hours at each others houses, raided each others refrigerators and playing pranks on all the family members. It was my long lost brother, to the point after another few years down the road when he got married I was his best man. We are still close friends and God had it all figured out to crossing every “t” and dotting every “i”. No small detail was left out but they all played a huge role in how God works in mysteries ways.

A few months when my dad and I were outside of church just talking about what had really happened, he had told me that he split up with his fiancee one week before I had called, which would have prevented me from moving in. It may sound sad that my dad had split up with her right before they were about to get married, but God was telling him this was not the one. And as I write this I can tell you my dad has found the right one for him and is happily married to a great women. Again all part of the greater plan.

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. – 1 Timothy 1:15-16

I had come from being a nobody who wasn’t thought or cared about, to being a blessed man of God. I wasn’t the worst of sinners like Apostle Paul, but I felt darn close. I now know this story of mine wasn’t meant for just for me, but to be a story of what Jesus wants to do to our lives, wants to completely wash us clean from our filth, and create in us a new heart. I plan to fulfill my promise even if I hadn’t made the promised to God, I’d still serve Him! This is the beginning of my story, the beginning to many more miracles yet to come, beginning of a real walk with Jesus; a personal relationship with Lord God Almighty, Amen!

Want to check out a story even more amazing than this? Take a trip with me to read about my near death experience when I had a serious motorcycle accident that left doctors challenging their own faith!

Do you want to know God in a personal way, like I know Him? Want to find out how to goto heaven? It’s very simple. It couldn’t be easier! He loves us so much that He made it possible just by believing in Him and saying the prayer of salvation.

Comments

  1. Great Story Justin! I knew God is alive! Another miracle is documented! May this story go on for ever! God is with you Justin. He really is at your side guiding you. It really almost made me cry in the part you are in the woods and there you prayed hard.

    I once committed suicide in my life too and it’s like it’s not a coincidence that I didn’t had the chance to fulfill it. For those who like to see another miracle, check out my blog at http://juzelalpadilla.wordpress.com/2011/03/21/miracle-of-god/

    • Thank you Juzel for the kind words, and yes God is very much alive. Read your blog and love what God is doing in your life! My words aren’t enough to describe God’s glory and His power.

      “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. – 2nd Chronicles 7:14″

    • chong says:

      is god really exits. i don,t feel it. my wife want to divorse me. no matter what i do. she still want to. my name is chong live in singapore. age 43. don,t earn much around 1.5k. after deduct cpf only 1.3. per month give her 700. expenses here expensive. we marry for 5years no baby yet. she fm china. only 3years ago got pr. i give her everything i can. she still not happy. now we sleep seperatelu. i want to die. don,t know how to please her. i got no friends.

      • Hey Chong,

        I questioned whether God existed for a long time. I understand where your coming from. Life isn’t easy, especially when your sharing it with another person. I’m sure once you got married that it separated you more from your friends, but they will continue to be there for you. Nobody wants to see you suffer, let alone take your own life. I wish I had the right answers on what to tell your wife, but I don’t. I’m going to pray that God gives you wisdom, but I ask you to do the same. Seek God and He will reveal Himself. I promise that! It is my word! There is an English movie called “Fireproof” and I think you and your wife should watch it together. Its a very inspiring movie involving relationships. God bless!

        • Len says:

          Justin,

          I want to divorce my husband for a longest time. We’ve been married for almost 17 years but has been miserable for at least 10 years now. we have 2 kids, one is 7 and another one turning 16. I have not guts of leaving him because of my kids. For many years he was hitting me, cursing almost everyday.Trying to do evrything just for him not to get mad. He works but only contractor. Right now he is not working but he gambles.This month he already lost $5k. If i mentioned it he will start going crazy hurt me physically and emotionally .Now i am thinking of committing suicide. Need help, please help. Tell me what to do.

          • Hey Len,

            There is no way I can relate to your story, but I do relate to physical pain as I shattered my femur in a motorcycle accident http://justingilpin.com/life-after-death Although, I have been on the path towards suicide. It is def not the right choice for you to make. Though I don’t have the right one for you other then to seek God and let Him speak into your life. Now I don’t want to push religion, only the truth, and the truth is I see miracles nearly every week. Truth is God wants you and is willing to do a miracle in your family’s life. He is able to change husband’s life in radical ways. I believe this and will be praying for the two of you. Though I don’t endorse anything that he is doing. Nobody should be like your being treated, nobody. God really does love you, look at what He did to this drug dealer. How much more does He love you, one who is so much more precious and in need? I really want you too see this movie… http://www.magdalenamovie.com/ I think they have some good stuff from the site, but its for you! Praying for you!

          • Kenny G says:

            Don’t worry about it, get your kids and yourself and get out of town , go somewhere he doesn’t know about, make him beg for forgiveness if not move on and never look back

    • abbigail says:

      I need help!!! I really want to die because I get bullied everyday and I don’t fit in plz tell me what to do

      • Abbigail,

        I’m sorry your getting bullied. I know it’s not fun but you can seek for further help with family and friends. Don’t be silent. I’m praying for your wellbeing and that your able to find God. He is a loving God and can do all things. Praying for you! God bless!

  2. zell zoo says:

    I am thankful to our God that He spared you, picked you up and set you on solid ground.
    Blessings,
    Uncle Alex

    • Justin Gilpin says:

      Thank you Alex! It is great to still be alive no doubt. Despite the times when I pray for a personal rapture, because I know there is more that is left to do.
      God bless you and keep you!
      Justin

      • Grahame says:

        Beautiful….Simply BEAUTIFUL, but why do I feel the way I do? Its seems as though I’ve lost the ability to express myself the way you do….

        All the same, good with the bad I thank you.

  3. Cristina Insigne Viado says:

    Jus,

    God has a plan for you…I believed that He has called you for a purpose..
    I didn’t know you so well but Thank you for sharing your life to me..

    God bless you and happy for you to take your DTS :)

    Cristina

    • Thank you for the kind words Cristina. Its also an honor to be able to share my life story with all of you. God has made a difference in my life, and in return I hope my story can spark hope into others.

      God bless!

  4. sade says:

    hey i just wanna say is all i used to think about was killing myself. Im not going to lie i still do. I guess want im asking is how do i hold on to my faith.
    I kinda feel trapped in a world that doesn’t want me to survive, in knowing all of this its hard for me to know how to be patient. Got any tips?

    -SMM

    • Hey Sade,

      I know its not an easy thing, and I don’t pretend to have all the answers. There are just a few key points that I want to highlight that have drastically changed my life.

      That is by first realizing that if you think the way you’ve always thought, then you’ll continue to get what you’ve always got. I wanted to have the peace that comes from God so I began to read the Bible and ask God how do I change my thinking. I know this is much easier said than done, but you are not alone in this.
      “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” Romans 10:17

      Another thing is to get plugged into a church. I know this one sounds cliche, but its really helped me in so many ways. I would recommend at least get involved with a Bible study so you can get to know some people. Then build friendships, not just the one hour on sunday deal.
      “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

      I said I prayer for you and will continue to pray. You are def making the right steps, and by releasing this burdon on me shows that you really do want God to show up. Be expecting my friend as God is always ready for us to draw near to him.
      “Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you” James 4:8

  5. andy says:

    consider yourself lucky, most people will live out in the woods and keep up a drug filled lifestyle, it doesn’t bother them…

  6. Arjun Pandava says:

    When I feel suicidal and I search for stuff about it on the internet, and I get christian garbage attempting to convert me, I become more angry and resentful. I guarantee that no matter how many people lame attempts like this have convinced, it has driven more people TO rather than AWAY from suicide. It only makes us feel MORE alienated and isolated that the only people who care about convincing us not to kill ourselves are doing it for a religious/ideological mandate given to them by an invisible friend.

    • I know it may seem that you are more isolated, but I am not trying to do that at all. I merely only wanted to say that I can relate to how you feel. I also believe that if I knew the truth but didn’t tell you then wouldn’t that make me a lier? I’ve seen so many miracles in my life and I know one of the main causes for wanting to kill ourselves is not having love or a purpose. I don’t want you to see me as all religious as I’m not trying to be. But what If the God I speak of does miracles and is very willing to do them in your life? He was willing to send His son for you then don’t you think he’d do a lot more than just that?

      • Rob says:

        Perfectly spoken words Arjuna. If you want to find true happiness stay away from religion. Justin is a fanatic, he claims to have seen people miraculously healed. Well I have a challenge for you Justin: heal an amputee. It has never been done. It can’t be.

        • Rob,

          I know of a greater healing than an amputee. The dead being brought back to life! I’ve not yet seen that, but God willing I may get the chance. I’ve heard of a handful of people having seen this. Not the cause of religion, but a living God. He is able to heal anything; including that depressed heart of yours. I only hope good things for you Rob. I pray God reveals Himself to you in a personal way. God bless!

  7. drew says:

    justin,

    i have been down the same path… broken families, drugs, crimes and worst of all i became succesfull from all that. i now live partying and making more money than the average ceo of any fortune five company and not once have i ever had a prayer answered. as a matter of fact as long as i believed in myself no dream was out of site. even when i was most screwed up on substances is when i was allowed a different perspective on my own self and how to evaluate my encouragement. believe in yourself and you will see the truth…… i know i have.

    • We relate in many ways then. Though, there is one question that I have for you. You say all your dreams are meet by just believing in yourself, but there is still a void inside that you can’t fill with drugs, money, or sex? Then you found my site by searching how to die. I also can relate with this, and the pride of not being able to confess my problems. I’m going to pray that God opens up your eyes to see the truth.

  8. redbear says:

    what do you do when even god even turns his back to you. what do you do when u see you mom and dad get killed in fron of your face and the person that killed them tells you (this is what god wants me to do.) you dont know what to think or do

    • I’m sorry to hear for your lose. I haven’t experienced anything like that, but I do want you to know that it wasn’t God’s will that they died like that. The man who killed them was defiantly serving a different god, not Jesus. I’m going to pray for you, and have others pray as well.

  9. modafinil boy says:

    thanks for sharing your story…but even God can’t save everyone. Some of us are truly lost

    • “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.” – 1 Timothy 1:15-16

      Paul formally known as Saw, killed thousands of Christians then was inspired by God to write this. If God can forgive him, then surely He can forgive anyone.

      “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38

      This is another verse that proves God loves everyone, and wants everyone to repent so you can have a relationship with the heavenly Father.

  10. Latha says:

    At this very moment I felt very let down but after going thru this msg I feel that for everything that happens to us is meant to teach us something new and make us stronger too. Praise be to God in the highest for He always proves that He is the eternal God who never lets us down when we come and surrender ourselves to Him.

    • I’m so blessed that you decided to write me, and let me know that my story has encouraged you. We aren’t ment to go through this world alone, but instead need others to help us stay strong. In the same way you were encouraged, I also was encouraged.

      “And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”-Ecc 4:12
      “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”-Pro 27:17

      God bless!

    • Seyma says:

      Dear Open Road Biker Church; We have a lot of bikers at our Calvary Chapel crchuh in Spokane Washington and they are a blessing to the whole congregation. We love our biker brothers. I am also a volunteer for the organization that is co-sponsoring the upcoming Memorial Convention for the first anniversary of that terrible Fort Hood shooting. Our director, Mr. Keith Davies would like to get some information, along with posters (we pray you will put up), concerning this event. Please email me back and provide me with an e-mail address I can use to send you this information. We want to let everyone know about, and have an opportunity to attend, this event who wants to.Thank you and God Bless YouPatti KahlVolunteer for the FFMU

    • Alivespa says:

      I want to finish my tohught here. If God treated us fairly Jesus would have never died on the cross. and we would have never been offered salvation. I praise God that He loves me, He never fails me and He goes to plan B and on. Look ho w He blessed Israel, they sinned and went away from God countless times, but He was faithful and loved them any way. Romans 5:8 But God commended His love toward us, in that while we were sinners Christ died for us. Praise be to God!

  11. jim says:

    justin, thanks for sharing your story, God is out there (not sure if praying will help) the question is how can one live a life that doesnt want to live, ive help allot of people, however now that I dont have a dollar to my name I feel like the more you help the more you get screw. Im not sure if I want to live anymore, im trying but theres no love anymore in my life, last week i got robbed at gunpoint and now my employeer will not pay me because i was robbed, in other words i was robbed from my boss, things happen in life I just hope I can live another day to see it.

    • Your welcome Jim. By all means praying to the Father in Jesus name is hear! I am living proof of this, and I will be praying for you Jim. I was exactly like you bro. I used to fully believe God was real, but didn’t believe that He was a personal God. Now I know that the God I read about working through Jesus’ life is the same today, yesterday and forever. He never changes. I also feel like this verse is for you…

      “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

      P.S. I will be praying for you Jim.

    • Noelia says:

      My name is Scott. I have struggled my intere life with my relationship with God. I believe that Jesus died for our sins. I believe that God watches over his children. Over the years I have attended many, many different churches. Do you ever have that feeling that you just don’t fit in somewhere? It was like that for me. I believe there is a plan for us, if you’ll only give yourself over to Him. From the moment I walked up to the door of the Georgetown Library and met Darla, I felt as if I was home at last. Since meeting Darla, I have met John, Phyllis, and a host of others. All made me feel welcome and all made me feel at home. To be in the presence of God among so many great people, well it was just heavenly. Butch spreads the word as if he just can’t hold it in any more, with passion and a zest for living the life of a man of God. Thank you for making me feel welcome and thank you all who attend our biker church for welcoming a stray lamb back into the fold.

  12. Marian says:

    I am so depress..the more I don’t deal with this. The harder it gets and I am afraid I would do something bad to myself. I do believe in God and also I am coward, those of my reason I haven’t done anything I can’t take back. But I don’t how long I can last ..I am a sinner and I feel I don’t deserve to live anymore

    • Hey Marian,

      I’m praying for you and believe that He will bring a renewed spirit to your heart. Everything will get better, take hold of the promises God has given you. Nobody is too far gone to be saved, and you are special to God and have a purpose. The dreams you had as a child were put there by God and he wants to use you. God used Paul who killed many of His people, and God used me; a worthless criminal.

  13. Sophie says:

    Obviously, something or someone in the universe, god or otherwise, wanted to turn your life around. And I’m glad that it/he/she did. Though I’m going to be completely honest with you; I don’t think that I’m ever going to amount to anything. Nothing and no one will ever be able to change that. Why, you might ask? Because I’m dispassionate, trapped, and have no soul. That’s why. Hell or reincarnation as worthless insect is the future set in stone for me–the only one that I’m sure of.

    So, your miracle, it doesn’t happen to people who don’t have a reason to live. People who don’t WANT to live, no matter what turns around for us, because we’re always going to be selfish, depressed people. And we’re always going to want the shortcut out of here. We’ll always look for the best way to leave our miserable lives using our pathetic motives.

    Please enlighten me on your solution to this, besides the one that I’m obviously suggesting at, if there is one. And I say that in the least sarcastic way possible, whether you believe me or not, because I really do want to know if there’s another option to this. You seemed to have one for everyone else, anyway.

    • Sophie,

      I continue to give the same answer to everybody Sophie. The answer is the truth that there is a loving God who cares so much for us that he would send his son to earth to die a painful death. He sent his son while we were still sinners, and you’ve heard my testimony of how God took worthless scum and saved me. This is not the only miracle I’ve seen, but nearly every one of my posts are about personal encounters with God.

      God used people to heal the blind, cast out demons heal people of diseases. I’ve also seen many of the same things. God is a personal God, the same yesterday, today and forever. He has never changed, and is still in the business or restoring lives. We complicate everything. The truth is simple. “Confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead and you are saved.” Romans 10:9-10

      I do tend lean towards our problems being spiritual, because I know we have souls. I also know that you want to live as you wouldn’t have wrote to me if you otherwise thought that. He is a personal God and has already chosen you, and knew you before you were born. He already knew you’d mess up but he still cares. I am praying that God will reveal his love to you in a real way that will change your life.

  14. raghav says:

    i do have the same simalarities but no drugs no sex no crimes and no broken families. yes in early days i had some drugs but that was long time ago . i dont know wat is chasing me.i cannot think. i dont know wat to do in this age. i am about 30. i dont have work no money just relying still on parents.this sucks!! please tell me wat to do

    • “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God,   the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint,   and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;   they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary;   they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:28-31

      “Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you. 24 Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full. 25 ”These things I have spoken to you in figurative language; but the time is coming when I will no longer speak to you in figurative language, but I will tell you plainly about the Father. 26 In that day you will ask in My name, and I do not say to you that I shall pray the Father for you; 27 for the Father Himself loves you, because you have loved Me, and have believed that I came forth from God. 28 I came forth from the Father and have come into the world. Again, I leave the world and go to the Father.” 29 His disciples said to Him, “See, now You are speaking plainly, and using no figure of speech! 30 Now we are sure that You know all things, and have no need that anyone should question You. By this we believe that You came forth from God.” 31 Jesus answered them, “Do you now believe? 32 Indeed the hour is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me. 33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:23-33

  15. Robert F. says:

    Hello! My name is Robert,I am 36 yrs old and I have a daughter that is 13 and a fiance that is 37..Her and I have been together for 13 yrs. We never got married because we have always been in hard times and her family makes it clear that we should not do it. She has come down with a serious life time illness and she may be prego. I have had a surgery and workers comp is not paying nothing as of now. I am fighting them in court. I was a very big drinker at one time ..I was very very dangerous to be around when I was on the bottle. I got a DUI last yr and I turned my drink over to have a Vicodine habbit. I can not get off this drug I’m in so much pain when I am not on it…It is Christmas and I am home alone with thoughts of just killing my self. The only thing right now that is holding me back is I know my girl and kid need me here.and the fact that I’m scared to die of not knowing what is after this life…I do love god and I have not been living for him and my life is so freaking dark right now…I got nothing for Christmas I could not buy anything for my family because all my money goes to the drug I need to function in life.I have never had a life feeling so powerless before untill I started taking this drug wow!!! I need a friend to talk to and I have no one….I hope I can make it through this day that Christ was born on and get through this darkness in my life..thanks for letting me share…Merry freaking Christmas…………..

    • Hey Robert, I understand your frustration. I’ve been locked down by simliar vices myself as you’ve read. I also know that rainbow comes after the storm, but on the same coin when it’s a heavy rain it can be hard to see our path. If you believe in God and know that He speaks and guides His people, then maybe you should give it a try? That’s saying if you believe God has a better plan for you then you have for yourself. Ask yourself who’s will is better… yours or God’s?

      Right now I’m leaving in the Philippines, so when you talk about being poor I can also relate as I see people who own nothing and live on a bowl of rice a day or less. Though, this isn’t about money, nor is your main issue about happiness, as that’s only an emotion. We do however have a choice to be joyful, and filled with a purpose. God most certainly has one for you, but don’t let the enemy win bro. FIght back through prayer. I will most def be praying for you Robert. God bless, and Happy New Year!

  16. meline says:

    i want to die so bad my mom is so cruel and kicked mt out of the house a lot,but she tells my dad filthy lies WHAT DO I DO????!!!!!

    • Hey Meline, I could attempt to give you advice on your situation as well as anybody else, but I’m sure you can tell by now I firmly believe in the power of prayer. Not only does God hear us but He moves in radical ways. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9 I do not know what God wants to do in your life, but I do know you were created for a purpose. Your life was not an accident, He loves you very much and sent His son to die in your place. If God would send His son, don’t you think He’d send you help as well? God bless and have a Happy New Year!

  17. RayRay says:

    Im 13 and I’ve thought of suicide in fact thats why I’m on here. I feel like nothing’s here for me I know this was a long time ago but maybe this is a way to let all these suicidal thoughts finally go away. Maybe sharing how I feel will help. I just need advice for wen I get like this. I loved your story and hopefully I can change this way of thinking soon.

    • Hey Rayray, I’m glad your aware of the fact that telling others makes it easier for you to overcome these thoughts. I have another post that talks about how to change your way of thinking. http://justingilpin.com/words-we-say Nearly every miracle in my life originated through prayer, and on that note I will pray for you. God bless and Happy New Year!

  18. Christina Ignat says:

    this is amazing and eye opening THANK YOU SO MUCH!

  19. Shaaron Vaughn says:

    I lost my mother on my birthday January 29th 2005 and I raised my grand daughter for over 7 years then in the summer of 2011 during bible school my daughter decides she is gonna play mommy and takes her! I am left taking care of my 82 year old dad and then in October he dies and now I am all alone!!! I have animals like chickens and cats and dogs but it is not the same!! I can’t call the help line because I am fighting for custody of my grand daughter and I was told if I cant get myself together I would be hospitalized!! I can’t afford that at this point but at times I don’t know why I am going on in my life!!! I have no family now and only a bunch of animals!!! I miss my family and I wish I was dead!!!

    • I’m so sorry these things have happened to you. I can’t even begin to say that I understand what its like to have a child taken from you. I do know that it’s not the end for you. You will overcome this. I’m praying for you, and other people are praying. I’d also highly recommend that you get a book called Battlefield of the Mind, it will teach you how to overcome this negative thinking. God bless!

  20. Janie says:

    Im Athiest but I’m glad you found your god and your courage to live:)

    • Thanks Janie,

      I hope you don’t mind, but I will be praying that you find the truth. I don’t want to shove religion down your throat, but want to give you hope. Don’t lose hope as life is beautiful!

  21. suz says:

    Justin, will you pray for me? Will someone hear you? I have three small children and I don’t want it to be the end for me. I need your strength-I need your faith

    • Hey Suz,

      I will most def pray for you. God does hear all of us and He answers the prayers of those who cry out to Him and seek His will. “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” – Psalm 34:18 God bless!

  22. jeet says:

    he i want to die coz i have lose every think in this moment in six year time 1st i have lost my mom n dad hope n day kick me out of house now i don’t have any choice now i have lost my job n nothing is there left in my life i don’t have money.to go back in my country. i am so depress

    • Hey Jeet,

      I don’t pretend to know how to fix all problems but I know in my life that God is calling for us to give our problems to Him with faith. When we do this he will take over. I also know that worry is lack of faith, just trust the God who created the universe. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matt 11:28:29

  23. Anara says:

    Taking a shot in the dark here…
    I’ve been depressed more than half of my (relatively short) life and have had frequently recurring thoughts of suicide (and one attempt) for the past four years or so. While I consider myself a Christian, the depression and suicide ideation is sort of “clouding” my faith. Or maybe those aren’t the causes at all. I was never happy, even when I was strong believer. I was raised in a Christian home, grew up believing and still desperately want to believe, but somehow I can’t regain the faith I once had. Christianity, unfortunately, eliminates a self-preserving fear of death. I’ve accepted Jesus as my Savior, but now I’m having an hard time believing in anything. How can you find and nourish a faith that has seemingly fled? Every time I read the Bible, I feel an awful twinge of hypocrisy as I try, but can’t, believe. Prayers feel like empty words, like simply talking to myself. Help.

  24. hello mr.justin i want to see jesus but how?……… so i wanna decided to die then what wil jesus do ha plz i want talk with my lord………. i wanna die within 1 month……………………….pls reply me sir…

    • To hear God is actually easier than people realize; read the Holy Bible. Wanting to die to get away from pain is understandable as I’ve seen it many times. When I shattered my leg in 25 places I thought the same thing again. Though, to kill yourself is not God’s will. If you confess with your mouth Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. I’m praying for you. God bless!

  25. luis avila says:

    4 months ago my wife left me, i could barely eat, sleep, be alone. Had ALOT of suicidal thoughts. Couldnt even sleep in my room anymore. My wife isolated me for months. now in the process of divorce and my feelings are all over the place. angry depressed sad random thoughts of suicide. i dont know how to deal anymore. i belive in god and i press onto him as much as i can. But sometimes it feels like my prayers arent answered.

    • Hey Luis,

      I’ll be praying for you. I know life throws us curve balls, but keep pressing in towards God. When you pray in God’s will it will be answered! Keep reading the Word as well as its God breathed and is the best way to hear God’s voice. God bless!

      • Shruti says:

        Hi Justin,

        Can you make me talk to God once………
        I am all alone in this world…..there was a time when I had all the happiness in this world…but gradually all that faded away….I WANT TO DIE..BUT CANNOT…. I will have to live few more years so as to let my ‘now left’ closed ones live peacefully……….but shadows of the past surround me…….how to get out of it..why I cannot forget what filled my heart with lifelong pain…when will this all end Justin….tell me..

        • I know your burden and there is hope. Jesus said “come to me all you who are burdened and weary and I will give you rest” Matt 11:18 God wants to draw close to you as its also written in James 4:4 “Draw close to God and God will draw close to you”. The pain and worry will go away when you learn to let go of it and give it to God. I know it sounds religious but its not. There is nothing complicated about it but praying truthfully to God. Praying for you Shruti

  26. Catherine says:

    Why do people always want to blame God for the bad things that happen to them? What about when something good happens they do give him credit? Or have people forgotten our true enemies satan and his demons, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” John 10:10
    So whether he steals your peace of mind or your material things, whether he kills the joy in your life or a loved one with cancer or he destroys your family or your sanity it is an orchestrated attack with a purpose. Your end.
    How can you fight your true enemy when you don’t even know who your true enemy is? “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Ephesians 6:12 The enemy is not your mother, it’s not your boss, it’s not that guy who cut you off on the freeway. But wow can we hold onto grudges, anger and past hurts, to the point of creating our own hell on earth and self destruction. We destroy ourselves with the words from our very own mouths, “Life and death is in the power of the tongue” Proverbs 18:21
    It is much easier to blame someone else for our plight than to take responsibility for our own actions. Most people are like children who say and do whatever makes them feel good even if it may hurt someone else. They do not realize the damage that is done. Or how satan is using them to destroy another person. People who know God know Love. If God has truly changed your heart you are not the same. You forgive because you have been forgiven. You grow up. “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” I Corinthians 13:11 No one is perfect of course but that’s okay because Christ says “ my power is made perfect in weakness.” II Corinthians 12:9
    Even in horrific cases of abuse and neglect a person has to let go of the past to truly move forward. It’s not easy but it’s possible with God. He is the creator who “knew you before you were formed in the womb” Jeremiah 1:5 He knows your full potential and your purpose you don’t listen to the negative things people say when you know what God says: “I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.” Psalms 82:6
    If you want to get angry get angry with satan and do NOT allow him to destroy you call on the name of Jesus! Don’t waste your time worrying about what people do because,
    “ All people have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23. We can only teach what we know and maybe those people who sin against you don’t know but now you do.

  27. dot says:

    I used to pray a lot. Now I can’t. I feel I have lost the connection with God.
    I think about suicide a lot and I am very unhappy. My life seems to be worthless and empty. I consider myself as a bad person and waste of space. And the world around is so cruel that I don’t want to be here.
    I am in a dark place and there is no hope any more,only everyday struggle….

    x

    • Hey, there is hope for you. Its not complicated in how to draw close to God through prayer. He is a very personal God willing to save you/heal you by any means if you allow Him. I also want to tell you that the best way to hear His voice is by reading the Bible. You were created for a purpose, don’t give up bro just give it to God. Praying for ya as I’m on your side.

  28. jillian says:

    Our lord is shining through you Justin.. spreading the word of god through your story is one of the most amazing truths to share. I needed comfort and prayed for help and god brought me to your story. It helped a lot more than you would ever know. My body aches because I allowed my sadness take over my entire soul and body. I felt alone with despair and I still kind of feel depressed but you reminded me that I’m not alone and that god uses every situation for his greater purpose, for example, you going through what you did to bring you closer to the lord and ultimately helping others like me because of it. God bless Justin and thank you so much for sharing your faith!

    • Praying for you Jillian. I’m blessed that you were able to get something out of my story. I know everything will work out for you as God is a personal God and has many plans for you. You were brought into this world for a purpose that only Jillian can do. Get around others who will help lift you up and encourage you. God bless!

  29. Michele says:

    I read your story because of the title., it wasnt what i was expecting to read but i guess you cant hide from God, i was feeling sad and having suicidal thoughts., i pray all the time and go to church but i guess i let myself slip and So thank u for writing this it helped me to move on again. God is an awesome God.. God bless you!!

  30. Chami says:

    Hey Justin! I’m really glad you’re good and found your god.(: Your story is truly amazing. I was wondering if you could help me a bit? I’ve been depressed for about 5 years now and I hadn’t thought about suicide til a year and a half ago. I didn’t do drugs

    And my family isn’t broken at all, I’m Athiest though and I’m 16 now. I was thinking about suiciding :/ I’ve also been in and out of school for about 3 years . Idk how to go to school without feeling so depressed all the time. All I do now is stay in my room not wanting to talk to anyone at all. I’ve tried overdosing twice but it had done nothing serious to me. Idk what Im supposed to do..I know I need to stay in school but I just don’t have the will to. Everytime someone talks about school to me I just end up breaking down..I feel like a failure all the time. I also had therapy but I stopped going . Please help >_<

    • I’ll be praying for you to figure things out. I no we make it more complicated than it really is. Also, it will help to talk to somebody about it, even if its a stranger. I don’t have all the answers but I’m sure there is a God out there that has show Himself as a personal God.

      • Chami says:

        Thank you . I will be thinking about what you’ve said. I do agree with making things complicated because I hate to have to be lonely but I dont let anyone talk to me at all. I’m so glad to have stumbled upon your page or else idk what I would’ve done to myself again. I know it seems little to you with my problem but it’s ruining me everyday. Thanks so much for listening!

        • Hey Chami, I’m glad your eyes have been opened and begun to understand some things. I pray for those who read my site often, and have others doing the same. You aren’t alone and my heart goes out to those who have the same problem as I once did. It concerns me a lot as I have found God and I have also found a solution to my problems.

          Somebody once said, “If you saw somebody about to drink a cup of poison and didn’t say anything to them. Then would that make you guilty of them dieing, because you knew it was about to happen?” I think so, and in the same way I see people dying and going to hell without having heard the truth of a personal God who DOES MIRACLES. My first 4-5 posts on this site have miracles all in them. I have many more that I havn’t told yet but would like to when I’m not quiet so busy.

          God bless you!

          • Chami says:

            Thanks! You’re a precious person Justin! I want you to know that because I can’t imagine how many people you have saved/helped with your life stories/words and I’m definitely one of them. You please keep doing what you’re doing sir. I really appreciate it, so much. <3

          • Chami,

            You were the very reason I created this site and took the time to rank it up in Google. I am very blessed by your response to the Word of God and the testimony that God has given me to share. I will keep you in my prayers like the others. Thanks for taking the time to comment, and letting me know that I’ve been able to help you in one way or another. God is powerful, believe in Him and watch Him do miracles in your life! God bless!

        • Felipe says:

          Our family was so eticxed to see that your dad got to finally come home and the fact that it was Christmas makes you really think about the Reason for the Season . We are so happy for y’all and wish your dad a speedy recovery while at home. From our family to yours Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

  31. sandy says:

    i dont like to live in this world.. my father never respects me and calls be bad words.. im an indian boy of 15 year old

    • Hey Sandy,

      I know this world is tough. Even our very own family can be against us. I’ve felt that same rejection from my own at one point in my life. I want you to know that there are people who care for you, and don’t want to see you hurt or depressed. Jesus said “The thief comes not, but to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10 If you accept Jesus and ask Him to come into your life, then He will show you how to have life to the full! This I can assure you! I’m living proof of this radical change. Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6

      God bless, praying for you Sandy!

  32. Alexander Septian says:

    Hey Justin, i’m not good in English because i’m Indonesian.
    It’s good to read your story because in this week I’m trying to find out how to die like the others who got depressed. Finally I found the same guy that the other always call it a “BAD GUY”. Who knows that some people want to die?? I got married in 17 and start a new life because I think when I’m married the girl I loved so much it will change my life, but i don’t think so. Now I’m stuck in 2 families, my family and her family. They doesn’t like me because they think I can’t do everything to make my wife and daughter happy. But I always do my best. I told them that it’s the best I can do, but they won’t listen to me. That’s how I response this. First, I just want to reply it with “That’s a good story” but I think it touch my heart. Yes, That’s a very very amazing story in your life.
    God Bless You Justin

    • Hey Alexander,

      I’m glad my story has encouraged you, and I hope you find the other stories encouraging as well. As you can see God continues to move powerfully for those who put faith upon Him and seek His face. I said a quick prayer for you, but its apparent that you need to ask Jesus yourself to guide you. Don’t be so concerned about what others think, to be honest their opinions are private and you shouldn’t allow them to effect you. Just pray for them, ask God to bless them.

      “If you love me, then obey my commandents. Then I will pray to the Father and he will send another, that He may abide with you forever, the Spirit of Truth, whom the world does not know, because they neither see Him nor know Him, but you know Him, for he dwells with you and lives in you. I will not leave you orphans, I will come to you.” John 14:15

  33. kuku says:

    Hey does god really exist? If yes, why couldn’t I feel him? Why is he not helpin me? why is he not making my life normal? M missing the zest to live. I feel very alone from inside. I don’t have frenz.

    • Kuku,

      Yes, God/Jesus really exists. I have heard and seen God do many things in my life. But he wants us to put faith in Him, by believing without seeing Him with our 5 senses. I know its sounds radical, but there is a God who cares for you so much that He came down to earth to shed His blood on a cross for you. The blood was the sacrifice needed so that your sins could be forgiven. I have many stories on my site about what God has done, but I prayed that you would experience God in the same way. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer 29:11 I’m praying that you will seek after the truth, because if you try you will find it. This I’m sure of. God bless!

  34. Brennick says:

    Hi Justin,
    I just wanted to say I felt your story, but some have it different and I am in the position where I have it all a family and place to live and much
    More. The only thing is I’m 16 and I made some stupid choices in my earlier teen years and I don’t know if I can or anyone else can forgive me for my sins, I just want to know is there ever hope
    Or will I live the rest of my life in guilt for my actions? Also why does god
    Make
    Us do the things we do, is it to learn a lesson because I for sure would like to go back and make up for my mistakes :(
    Sincerely,
    Kid in need of help…

    • Hey Brennick,

      It appears you already have remoarse for what you’ve done, which is of course a good thing. Being able to see right from wrong, and admit when you’ve done wrong is a mature thing. We’ve all made mistakes and God forgives us as long as we repent(change our way of thinking) and turn to Jesus. Don’t take my word for it though, read Gospel of John and see what Jesus says about our sins. By reading Scriptures it is the easiest way to hear His voice.

      “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2nd Chron 7:14

  35. Chuck S. says:

    Im glad to have stumbled upon your page, read your story an others comments. it appears that we all have different reasons for the terrible way we feel. last year was the worst ever in my entire life. next month will mark a year since every aspect of my life started unraveling. i dont feel any different today except worse. i never would have imagined that at the age of almost 35 i feel like just ‘checking out’. At a point in life now, when things are suppose to be coming together, mine has fallen apart. im going through a COMPLETE LIFE ALTERING CHANGE…with VERY BIG ISSUES! that i just cant cope with. IVE LOST MY MIND OVER IT ALL!…had nervous breakdowns an everything. i realize its my fault. i have no-one to blame. (we are, our own worst enemy…no? pfft)
    On another note: I was a patron when the “station nightclub fire” disaster happened, an let me tell you.. IT WAS A FACT, THAT GOD.. OR I GUESS MY GUARDIAN ANGEL THAT SAVED ME. but ya know..if i knew my life was going to turn out the way its been, since then.. id like to go back in time an trade a place with someone that didnt make it.)
    i hope to hear from ya…we can talk by email if you’d like…btw im going to get that book because i realize “if we dont change the way we think, we’ll never get better”…the problem is HOW??

    • Hey Chuck,

      I read your stories and obviously you are still alive for a reason. I’m glad you were able to make it to this site and contact me, as I’m willing to help where I can and enjoy seeing people try to make a difference in their own lives.

      That is great to hear you realized its time to stop thinking the way you’ve always thought. I’ll be praying that the book really opens up your eyes on your question of “HOW”. I sent you an email, and I hope you enjoyed the other amazing stories on the site.

  36. Bree Briones says:

    So i read your story. I’m 14 years old, and i live in a broken home and have a horrible life. Both of my parents live in different houses, and they both abuse me. I was really considering suicide. But my whole family are “Christians”. After reading your story, it really opened my eyes that God really is there. It made me start crying. Thank you so much for changing my perspective of God by sharing this.

    • Hey Bree,

      Its not God’s will that you should suffer, but on the same token we do all go through trials. Don’t give up, just give it to God! I know He will give you comfort like He gave me comfort after my motorcycle accident. “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” 1st Tim 4:12

      You know I’m very blessed by your life. I know its hard but you will make it! Your precious in the eyes of God! I’m going to be praying for you, and be expecting God to send His comforter.

      “If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” John 14:15

  37. Thila says:

    Hi Justin…read yours and i am touched. I’m actually thinking on taking away my life. I had 2 wonderful daughters but there is always some issues that makes me and my husband end with a fights which makes me very sad…please help me….i need someone to guide me to the right path….

    • Hey Thila,

      Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me – John 14:5-6

      The right path is simple. I can show you the way, but it is only you who can walk down it. God can fix your marriage as He was the one who created it. “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” Mark 10:9

      I’ll be praying for you!

  38. Chuck S. says:

    Hey Justin,

    The mental battle on one day to another that i deal with is quite a contrast depending how im feeling at that moment: one day i entertain suicide thoughs because my emotions are triggered by something/stuff and it puts me back at square one. (last year i was walking on a high bridge, an almost at the top…when police showed up an stopped me. a passing motorist saw me an called them)
    on another day i say to myself: we are all mortal, eventually we will die anyway..WHY SPEED IT UP? its not rational!
    These back & forth thoughts are my constant struggle.
    Id like to say something about “dot’s” comment (her name caught my eye, because it was my mother’s name. she unexpectedly died on march 7, 2010 from a simple out-patient procedure. she was only 59!) “dot’s” comment seems bad. no doubt. but whatever her situation is, theres always someone else out there with much worse problems.
    when i here of kids in there early teens that kill themselves over being bullied at school or issues they may have with their parents…etc i can understand that, put the problem there is: there minds/personalities in most cases are not fully developed. IMO, they dont see the “bigger picture” to life. they only “see” 3 feet in front of them.
    my young daugther has issues with kids on the school bus & other things that are minor–obviously to me…BUT not to her. i totally understand that, because i was that age once. i try to comfort her or change her thought process, with different tactics. one day i said “if you think u got problems…do u want my life? wait till ur an adult an the challenges u’ll have, because in life we all get our fair share, but i hope you never go through what im dealing with”. (i said that because im “outside the box” of teen years)

  39. Chuck S. says:

    justin,

    Another thing i wanted to mention, as ive learned of your near death experiences.
    I have had i think like, 7 or 8 incidents were i could of died or been seriously injured.
    i like to share a few, off the top of my head that i remember.
    1. I owned a 1995 mustang that i bought when it was practically still brand new. i was always speeding. (NO JOKE, i averaged at least 1 ticket every 2 months.) one time i got pulled over on the highway, the cop was very upset with me “saying, i clocked you at 97 mph!..an i dont know HOW FAST you were going when you saw me, an tried slowing down”!! needless to say, he threw the ticket at me an said “when you go to court, bring your bank book”! I didnt learn my lesson, because not long after that, i was cut off by another car that drove into my lane traveling much slower, as i was approaching, my speed was somewhere around 90 (again) this time i had to ‘really’ hit the brakes..as i did this, my car fish tailed, turning 180 degrees, sliding sideways at a rate then at still 70 ish. in this moment i was watching my death about to happen. there was a middle divider gaurd railing that seperated to different directions of the highway. as im sliding with this ‘point’ thats clearly going to impact me dead center of my driver door! I THINK IT WAS A ACT OF GOD, BECAUSE ALL OF A SUDDEN I REALIZED BRAKING WASNT WORKING. I SLAMMED MY FOOT ON THE GAS AN STEERED THE WHEEL IN THE SAME DIRECTION. IT WORKED. the car straightened out at the last seconds, I COULDNT BELIEVE I MISSED IT BY A FOOT OR SO!
    2. then in summer 2001, me an a buddy ‘drinking it up’..late one night decide to go for a joy ride, were i had mentioned this hill on a road i knew of. it has kinda a crest to it…that all you needed is to drive down it at mere 30mph or so, passing the stop sign…AND THE CAR FLIES OFF THE ROAD! he was driving, an was amazed…so he decided to go for another “RUN”. this time i said “step on it”. we flew real high this time..in mid air we hit our heads on the inside roof, the car comes down, SMACKS the ground. an he was unable to stop the car an turn.. because the road ends (u have to go either left or right) we went straight, crashed threw a fence, flipped over, an down 6 feet into someones yard. the car rested upside down between the house & a huge tree–litterally about only 5 feet between either side! the roof flatened down with just enough room for us to slide out! WE WERE UN- HARMED, HE WAS BLEEDING FROM A CUT TO THE ARM, I WAS SORE BUT THAT WAS IT. we jumped unto the bottom of the car to gain hight in order to climb back up on the road..AND GET OUT OF THERE FAST!! BEFORE THE COPS SHOWED UP. next day we went to the junkyard were the car was an the tow man said..he couldnt believe we were not hurt or dead.

    • ddf says:

      dude thatts some AWESOME STORIES. i like to skydive and once the parachute didnt open, i kept yanking on it untill it came off. not open but off, i was sure i was going to go down into the concrete below. it was awseome. but then i realized i could pull the emergency one so i did. DANG YOU EMERGENCY CHUTE!!!!!!!

      • Hey,

        I’m sorry that life is hard for you. You know after the storm there is a calm peace and refreshing, as its cooled the earth. Likewise, we go through storms in our lives but when we get through them we find ourselves in a peaceful bliss. I’m going to be praying for you. God bless!

  40. Conor Mallon says:

    Hey that is a very good story!, I am alrite in life but when I grow up I don’t think I will follow in the path that I want to achieve in…
    I’m currently 13 years old.

    My dream in life is becoming a game maker and apparently electricity is going out in about a year or so and I don’t know if gaming will be this popular in the future because I have no idea what will happen :l

    I’m still young and can start to code to make games but the problem is I don’t think I have it in me… I usualy play games and can’t be boverd to make them I need something to really inspire me to make the game.. and a easy coding device or something like that… Basicly a mircale to get me started and life for me is okay but its not that great I do have a girlfriend who I love a lot but we have been having arguments and such :(

    I think you have struck a real miracle by God himself.

    ;)

    • Hey Conor,

      I know we sometimes don’t know what life has in store for us… but pursuing your dreams is exactly what you should do! God wired us all in different ways. The Mayans have been wrong so many times so why do you think electricity will all the sudden be gone? Forget those silly legends and learn about what the Bible says will happen at the end times, its def interesting. Also, game designers would have to be into programming, unless you did digital arts.

      You really have so much time ahead of you bro, don’t stress it. Life is beautiful and know that I’m praying for ya.

  41. Marcus says:

    Hi,
    I have read your storey and I’m glad that you have worked through your depression and that you have new hope for the future. I am a christian man who loves the Lord and asked Him into my life when I was four years old. My mom and biological dad got divorced before I was born because he did not want children, then she married my step-dad who raised and adopted me, but he and his family are very religious. I found out when I was about 19 that he was not my real dad and that I had another name before that.It did not totally come as a surprise for I have always suspected something. Long story short, in my family we don’t talk about things. I am gay, but cannot tell them out of fear of disconnection and judgement. I have lost the will to live and feel that there is no way out. I just cannot reconsile my faith and my sexuality. I have now moved countries to be away from my family ,whom I really love, and to make things worse, I have entered into a civil partnership to stay abroad. It is all my fault. I have created an even bigger mess by trying to run away. I am sad all the time and tired of all these lies. Please would you pray for me. I am trapped and do not know what to do.

    Thank you

    • Hey Marcus,

      I’ll be praying for you, that you will seek the truth. I know life is hard and family can make it worse, but there is always a right and wrong choice to make. “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. ” – 1 Cor 10:13

      Many people have been in the wrong relationships, whether the opposite sex or not. You are not the first to struggle with this. I’m sorry that it is beating you down with conviction, but to be honest that is good your conscience isn’t seared. That means God is still trying to reach out to you. You don’t have to clean yourself up either, I’m not asking that. Do you wash your feet before you get in the shower? No, likewise we don’t need to clean up before we come to God. You don’t even need to change religions. Only thing I want you to see is that God wants a personal relationship with you. God bless you brother, I’m praying for you.

    • Marcus,

      I know it’s been awhile since you commented but I wasn’t trying to ignore you. I’ve been really busy and want you to know I pray for everybody who comes on this website, especially those who are suffering with depression. I pray that you will find the peace you are looking for.

      “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me — put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:6-9

      “Great peace have those who love Your law, And nothing causes them to stumble.” Psalm 119:165
      “The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.” Psalm 29:11

      Peace for His people is written all over the Bible. It’s a promise to His people. Do not worry try to fix yourself before coming to God, but He wants you as you are! He loves you just as you are Marcus! There is nothing you can Marcus, that will separate you from the love of God! Do you wash your feet before you get in the shower? Doubt it. Same way, don’t wash up before you goto God. Go as you are and know that God wants to strengthen the relationship that He has with you.

      We all sin Marcus, but choosing to forgive and let go makes us conquerors. I’m not perfect by any means, I just choose to sin differently than you. Like you I’m trying daily to be what God wants me to be. Don’t give up Marcus because God loves you as His son. The more you learn who God is, the more you’ll learn your identity in Him. You do have a purpose Marcus, and He has called you out for something only Marcus Fischer can do! Sometimes we go through things, so that when we get right with God, and live on the narrow path, THEN we can help others come out of the same situations that we are selves have come through!

      Praying for you brother! God bless!

  42. Kersi says:

    The entire reading was very encouraging and I must say you are a very brave person. But again it also is the circumstances that surround you and how you choose to be committed to your responsibility both to your family and to the society at large. I have been struggling all through my life to get both ends meet, raised a family in spite of the immense hardship I was put through. Never complained to God and took up each task as a personal challenge until recently my 11 yr son was killed in a freak road accident. This is probably the last I can endure and probably my next step would be to end my useless life. But again as I mentioned I have responsibility of a family and cannot just leave this world and move away. Life is ugly and cruel – I think I should have given up praying for good and nothing worse can happen for a father who has lost his young son.

    • Hey Kersi,

      I’m not sure how you can call me brave, or even how I’ve been committed to my family or society as I did what I wanted. I always hurt my family and was a nuisance to society. Though, maybe now. And I know its not easy to live in this world. But… there is hope… there is joy… there is peace! “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” – Romans 15:13

      You have a purpose in life. You were created for a purpose. I have a friend who died a couple years ago, and watch his mother struggle with it as well. But don’t forget the loved ones around you as she did. She ended up letting it consume her life, even though that is exactly what her son wouldn’t want her to do. Value every moment you can with your family as life is precious. Of course I’m sorry for your lose, but live every day the best you can as that is what your son would want. I’m going to be praying for you. God bless!

  43. armenikayfo says:

    omg i wanted to die and then i read those paragraphs and god gave me hope to live

  44. ahmeduzair says:

    sometime i think that suiside is a best way to release tension.i can,t say it,s wrong or good. all of you people do not become a narrow mind. plz be see the both point of views

    • Hey Ahmeduzair,

      I understand that living is not easy. I’m not against you on that at all. I know taking our own lives may seem like the easier thing to do, but its not. By no means is it the best point of view. Through our troubles there is still hope. We have to learn to focus on the good things around us, and be thankful. Praying for you!

  45. honey says:

    your going to die,if not today than tomorrow, so why your going to make ur sins more by killing uself? se just chill

    • Hey, no reason to make your sins more, but it is completely against the will of God to kill yourself. He doesn’t want that at all and it is only lies that people are worthless. Everybody has a purpose in life. I hope and pray everything is going well with you Honey. God bless!

  46. Tone says:

    can i ask a qustion, if god love’s us why dose he take the people we are so close to…..

    • Hey Tone,

      I know its hard to explain, but God is a loving God even when He allows bad things to happen in our lives. I’d like you to read the story of how I shattered my leg in a motorcycle accident. It too brought a lot of questions and many of the times I prayed that God would take my life as I was in so much pain. http://justingilpin.com/life-after-death I’m praying for you Tone.

  47. sha says:

    ive had suicidal thoughts. maybe its better if i leave so my parents wont be dissapointed in me anymore. i have been nothing but a a dissapointment to them. i have nothing to look forward to. my brother hit me twice because i was rude to my mother. she is very stress and dissapointed in me time and time again. i doubt god would wanna help me out either because i dont deserve it. i have been distant with god, very selfish. all i could think of is to leave and not be a burden anymore

    • Hey Sha,

      I understand your frustration, but what you say is a lie from the pit of hell. You are listening to the wrong voice. Yes, we all make mistakes, some bigger than others like myself who used to be a drug dealer. Though, it doesn’t matter how big we’ve messed up as we’re all in need of a savior. God most defiantly wants to help you! You are not alone, and people do care for you. Be careful what thoughts you entertain and most especially what voices you listen to. “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me” – John 10:27

      Praying for you Sha, God bless!

  48. lupita says:

    Justin,
    Im glad god has remembered u n blessed u, im goin thru a real tough time in my marriage and i alsio have a realllly low self esteem… and im just at the tip of the iceberg.. im lost, dont know where to search for help..

    • Hey Lupita,

      I hope my story was encouraging to you. I do know one thing. If God would draw near to a drug dealer crying for help, then He’d draw near to anyone crying for help. I’m going to be praying for you Lupita that your marriage gets stronger. That you’d see what it will take to bring it back to how it should be. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matt 7:7-8 You said you didn’t know where to search for help, well God is calling for you to seek for His help and He has promised to help. God bless!

      • Daniel says:

        I’ve been really eceitxd to see PV’s mentality change just in the past year from bringing people INTO the church, to encouraging the church to go OUT. This year for Christmas, rather than doing the same Christmas program its done for over a decade, we’ve themed this Christmas Christmas to GO (picture a chinese to-go box as the image . Everyone in the Northland who has ever wnted to see The Singing Christmas Tree has come to PV to see it EXCEPT those who are homeless or in prison. So where are we taking the message of Christ? To the homeless and to prisons. I’m pretty eceitxd about this I think this is one small way we see the Kingdom of God expanding in a real, and practical way.

      • Auth says:

        Articles like this relaly grease the shafts of knowledge.

  49. miles says:

    hey justin
    nice story bt i really dunt think der is god
    if der is god den i wont b suffering lyk dis from past 4 years
    i have done sins in lyf bt i havent hurt ny1 ,i always help others now n den
    bt no can help me bcuz i lost everything dat meant nything to me
    its no use of being 2gether again bcuz v r again gonna fight i mean he is again gonna fight wid me on silly topics n den when i dunt agree to stay wid him he says dat he vl die n d problem is i really love him a lot n after he came in ma lyf i changed maself n felt dat nw everything vl b f9 bt no even he started creating problems in ma lyf i m feed up i cant live wid him n even cant live widout him………..

    • Hey Miles,

      I’m sorry your having a relationship problem. I know it can be challenging with emotions pulling in so many directions. Even though you may feel broken hearted and confused, it shouldn’t lead to killing yourself. Life is precious and worth living, girl it really is worth living! The promises of God are true, all of the Word of the Bible is true. He is ready to save, He is ready to heal you. Numbers 23:19 God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?”

      Just a thought, maybe you should try praying to God to give you some answers, cause He will. That’s exactly what He did in my life. John 4:13-14 Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

  50. looser says:

    can any 1 say me how to end my life in a easy way…
    i just hate my life and wanna commit sucide.. so please suggest me the easy way and a painless way pleasee try to understand me… im begging u.. discussed to end my life….
    plz, plz, plz,,…………….
    i will be waiting for reply…………

    • Hey,

      You are not a looser so stop calling yourself that. You know we all go through tough times, but we just have to fight through them so we can overcome the things of this world. I will be praying that you make Jesus as your Lord and Master, and then you will see the way of escape through a personal God who has saved me. If He would save a worthless scum like me, then he would surely save you.

      Praying for you, God bless!

    • Friend says:

      you have been given a life, something that you only get once. i may not be christian, or any other religion, but i know how precious life is. don’t kill yourself man. you never know what you might run into tomorrow, you and i could bump into each other while grabbing a bite and we could become best friends. it may be a small chance, but its a big risk. please don’t kill yourself. but ill tell you what… if you just look at this message and blow it off, at least don’t do anything not worth doing. My name is Ian Layton. and im not going to say that i know what your going through, beacuse honestly i dont. niether do alot of the people you know. they wont understand why their best friend killed him/her self. and thier first reaction will be to blame themselves. dont do that to them… dont do that to yourself. i hope i helped.

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